I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

 

I wondered why the tennis ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

 

I wanted to know where the sun came from. Then it dawned on me.

 

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!

 

A soldier left the army to set up a cake stand. He was shot for deserting.

 

I changed my iPhone's name to Titanic in the hope it might sync faster.

 

I lost my thesaurus. I can't find the words for how upset I am!

 

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

 

I'm not addicted to brake fluid. I can stop anytime!

 

A girl said she recognised me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

 

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

 

I went to see a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

 

Duracell was arrested the other night. They charged him with battery.

 

All the toilets were stolen from the police station. Police have nothing to go on.

 

Velcro is an absolute rip off.

 

I used to think I was indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.